Several of my recent clients have been going through life transitions, which always include emotional speedbumps that can be uncomfortable to navigate.
Often, I help them redirect their emotional energy toward a future vision that they can look forward to: "It's six months from now. Things have gone exactly - actually, BETTER - than expected. You can't believe you've reached this point of your journey. What three words describe how you are feeling in that moment?"
I love hearing what words they choose, as it reveals so much about what they truly want.
What surprised me is how many of them chose PEACEFUL as one of the words.
I can totally relate. And, I know from first-hand experience that the solution will come from disrupting two of their current patterns - AVOIDANCE and DISTRACTION.
As a recovering conflict-avoider, I used to believe - wholeheartedly - that "going along to get along" was the most helpful strategy. Not only did it feel good in the moment (to avoid a hard conversation or to take time to figure out what I needed), but it kept things moving, which also ties back to my desire for efficiency.
Over time, this strategy also resulted in built-up levels of frustration and resentment that would often manifest later in unhelpful, even unhealthy, ways.
Even though this part of the pattern wasn't as helpful, I could use my other strategy - DISTRACTION - to avoid having to feel bad about it.
Rather than making the effort to get curious about the situations in which I avoided, and using those emotions as a way to understand what I really needed, I'd get busy getting busier as a way to distract myself, therefore avoiding my own self in the process.
Over time, I didn't see that I had created an efficient process of avoiding, to the point it had become habitual. I didn't even think consciously about avoiding/distracting anymore - I just reacted.
Both strategies kept me from what I wanted most - PEACE and FREEDOM.
Having been through a process of disrupting these two personal patterns (conflict-avoidance and distraction) to get better outcomes (peace and freedom), I know all too well that peace isn't a passive process. It takes active self-awareness, active curiosity, active engagement, and active intentionality.
Only by admitting what we need can we get what we truly want.
Ready to move beyond avoidance and distraction? Schedule a free consultation to discuss your unique needs.
#experience #strategy #engagement #peace #values #valuesinaction #coaching #beyondavoidance #overcomingdistraction
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